Who's the mack...?

MMMMMMMM! Bacon, eggs and beats!

Yeah... let's hurry up and wave bye bye to this peculiar decade.

If there's one thing I've learned in this life...

...it's that cats don't like to wear clothes.

I might have finally found a reason to get a Nintendo Wii...

I...

I think it would be cool if my vacuum actually had a tiny, fat gym teacher attached to it like in the Bissell commercials, then it wouldn't be just vacuuming, it would a surreal form of revenge...



...no coach, you DO have to go under the couch and see if the cat left you any presents.



I am quite fond of the idea of owning a really nice vacuum though.

This movie might just be perfect:

I saw this movie a bunch of times when I was a kid, It was on T.V. like 17 times a day. Cool film, silly fun, I was 8. Now I'm in my early 30's and I can't believe how amazing and ridiculous this film really is... a government run program to train a dream assassin to kill the president so he doesn't strike a disarmament deal with the Russians, aaah, the 80's. Good poster too, really rides that Indiana Jones train and if you look at the top you'll see the films major (and when I was 8 the scariest) villain: "Snakeman."

When I was a kid, Snakeman was no joke, I think I wet myself over Snakeman. I mean, look at this thing:

To an 8 year old that's the most bad-assed movie monster ever! Here's a montage if you will of both Snakeman dream sequences...

Not only is this film infinitely more awesome now that I can see how claymation Snakeman is, but in the second dream the bad guy (played by this guy)

...who was also the bad guy in "The Warriors" (he always seems to get that kind of role)



...turns into Snakeman, a zombie and does Kung Fu! How much more bad-assed could you possibly get. Plus, Dennis Quaid smirks his way through the entire film and wears these really amazing sweaters.



Oh and George Wendt is in it playing a writer who stumbles onto the government plan and wears a manpurse, he tries to warn Quaid and is shot by secret agents in the middle of a frat party and no one sees or hears it.



If you want to know what it was like to be alive in the 80's this film pretty much sums it up, but if you don't want to spend the time watching it here's a condensed version:



Did I mention that Eddie Albert plays the president, yes, from Green Acres, is that a jab at Regan?



So the final question you must be asking yourself is: "We have a film full of trippy dream sequences, clay monsters and lots of interior shots that utilize fog machines, who do we get to score it?"



Maurice Jarre! Wow. This film really is perfect.

Quite possibly the greatest maraca player I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

I'm going to go out on a limb and use the word... virtuoso.

YES! SELL IT!! SELL IT!!!! SELLLLL IT MR. DR. HOOK!

If Leatherface had sisters...

When I was a kid, "The Exorcist" scared the (insert bodily byproduct here) out of me. So when it was re-released a few years ago I went to see it in the theater, there was some restored scenes and such.



I quickly discovered that the kids of today (by kids I mean annoying teenagers that go to movies not to see a movie, but to be obnoxious and crack jokes) don't find the idea of unseen evil or demonic possession scary. In fact it's hilarious... concepts like suspension of disbelief and caring for characters in peril have been laid to rest alongside chivalry and artistic merit. Well... I found something sure to give the desensitized masses of today nightmares for years to come, because there's no scarier entertainment than our current pop music landscape.



Dear Ms. GaGa,
You've got some catching up to do, because your Marilyn Manson motif has officially been trumped:

Is it just me...

...or does Ray J seem like if Steve Urkel grew up and tried to be a smooth R&B sanger (don't trip, I spelled singer wrong on purpose).


Actually, Marques Houston looks a little more like a grown up Urkel...crossed with one of those cabbage domed aliens from every 50's Sci-Fi movie ever made,



I would describe that skull cap as...well: bulbous.

Okay, if Ray J and Marques Houston could, through some miracle of science and a direct defiance of nature and all that is sacred, produce a child together, the child would seem like a grown up Urkel trying to be a smoove R&b sangar! Which Puff Daddy would then sign to a 12 album deal on his new imprint Bad Boy DNA, which is a subdivision of Bad Boy that deals exclusively with genetically spawned offspring of R&B sangarzzz!

And of course, Marques Houston was once part of the adorable R&B kid group Immature.


(I think, ahhh who cares? I really just wanted an excuse to post that Immature LP cover, man Kris Kross really threw a monkey-wrench in the game didn't they?)


I missed the bus, I missed the bus, I missed the bus... and that's something that I'll never ever ever do again..."
Real talk yo, real talk!

Behold, the visual and aural representation of total and pure joy...

When I was in Jr. High, Everlast looked like this:

Then he looked like this:




The best House Of Pain album is their 3rd one by the way...

Then he disappeared for a few years, had a heart attack and came back with a guitar and started singing:

I dug all of it, dudes got longevity, he evolves, however, I wasn't ready for this:

It's pure joy, fear not it's lulling effect and inspiration for toe-tapping and knee slapping.

This is so ridiculous it's borderline post-modern! I can't lie, I'm diggin' it. It's almost amazing as this:



You gotta count your dubplates before you touch your turntables, because if you run out of big tunes, that means your sound is done...

YOU MEAN I CAN BUY CRAP WITHOUT EVER LEAVING MY COUCH!?

Kevin already posted this on his blog:
http://kennyconga.blogspot.com

It's amazing in many amazing ways. Reminded me of this brilliant infomercial made to promote the LP "Hello Nasty" by the Beastie Boys:



YOU TRYIN' TO TELL ME I CAN'T POLISH A BANANA?!



YOU CAN'T PUT CAR WAX ON PERISHABLES!

Maybe someone can straighten this out for me...

Is this 70's era 7up commercial where Mercury Rev got the idea for their "See You On The Other Side" album cover?


Here's a few more trippy ads from the late 60's-70's, thanks for the heads up Mr. Lynch...

Awww mannn... see I KNEW America was cool!

I think I can taste sound...

This trippy tribute to our country's 200th birthday was funded by a Bicentennial Project Grant and animated by Vincent Collins who made other psychedelic cartoons. This film was produced by the United States Information Agency -the government's propaganda agency. Director: Vincent Collins Audio/Visual: sound, color